Desktop Dynamo

For the second time this year, I blew the game for the Lions.

After the second quarter debacle, where USC scored 24 points while the Lions defense apparently went surfing in Malibu, my wife noticed I was out of uniform.

"I got you a Penn State Rose Bowl shirt for Christmas!" she said. "Why aren't you wearing it for the game?"

"Well, I was afraid I'd dribble Kahlua on it."

"Well, the shirt's clean but they're losing."

After the half, I sat in the comfy chair decked out in my Rose Bowl shirt. The Lions scored 17 points the rest of the way, but it was too little too late.

I am torn. The shirt is clean. The Lions got licked.

I'm cracking open another mini-bottle of Kahlua...and the shirt's staying on.

HEY JIMBO: Enjoy the clean shirt, you moron. Thanks for nothing!