Desktop Dynamo

Small Potatoes...

As I write this, I believe the President is on TV pleading with Americans to support the stimulus package. The House approved $819 billion. The Senate is wrangling over $780 billion. Let's just call it $800 billion. It's a nice, fat, easy to remember number.

And it's small potatoes.

You read that right...SMALL POTATOES.

Between the TARP program, a mess of tax cuts and the money the Democrats and Republicans in Congress are fighting over right now...all of which were subject to their votes...we're looking at about $1.7 trillion dollars.

And it's still SMALL POTATOES. Just like our elected representatives.

You see, the most powerful entities in America right now are not our duly elected members of Congress or our recently inaugurated President. These are small potato folks arm-wrestling over a plate of likewise small potatoes.

Real power lies in the purse, and if you're looking for the real power in America right now you've got to turn your head away from the President and Congress and give the nod to the Treasury Department, the Federal Reserve and the FDIC. These are the folks grilling steaks (or cooking our gooses, if you'd rather) while our elected representative fight over the scrawny little tubers.

In an article at Bloomberg's website, I learned today that the money boys have us on the hook for another 8 trillion. Where the money is going...and where some of it has already gone...is largely a mystery.

(Sort of like the mystery of what's under Bernie Madoff's hat. Is it just hair? Has dear Bernie suddenly gone bald? Or maybe he's hiding a sack of diamonds or maybe a pack of beef jerky under there. No one knows, and everyone's afraid to look under the hat.)

How murky is the money trail?

Well, North Dakota Senator Byron Dorgan (D) said this recently in a Senate session: "Nobody knows what went out of the Federal Reserve Board, to whom and for what purpose. How much from the FDIC? How much from TARP? When? Why?" (Has anyone looked under Bernie's hat?)

So this puts us, friends and countrymen, on the hook for $9.7 trillion dollars.

That, my friends, is a line of zeroes that will reach about three generations deep into the future of this nation. It astounds me that our elected Representatives are apparently too dense to realize they've been quietly usurped by the money boys.

I don't care which Party you belong to.

I don't care who you voted for.

It doesn't matter.

If you believe in the "Golden Rule" (c'mon...you know this one: He who has the gold, makes the rules) then the real power in Washington has shifted to the money boys. It's a stunning revolution, and it was done without a shot being fired.

Some folks have said capitalism is dead, and this is the era of Gov-o-nomics.

Hogwash.

It's Fed-o-nomics. They money boys are driving the taxi. Mr. Obama and Congress are fighting over loose change under the seat cushions.

...and about that $9.7 trillion.

How on earth are mere mortals supposed to get their hands around a number that huge? It numbs the mind just trying to comprehend such an enormous sum.

Well, folks, this is where I really shine. I'm going to make that huge, huge number real to you by explaining it in terms of chicken wings.

If every one of those bailout bucks was a chicken wing, how far would 9.7 trillion chicken wings stretch if they were laid end-to-end?

First, I do need to make one basic assumption: that the average chicken wing is about 4 1/2 inches long. Sure, I've seen them smaller...and larger...but for simplicity's sake it's 4 1/2 inches and that's that.

Using that standard, I've calculated that the chicken wings would stretch from here to Jupiter, and back this way as far as Mars.

So if you and I hopped into a spaceship and followed that trail of wings, we'd end up on the Red Planet with a plate of messy interplanetary treats (we'd best check for meteor bits before tearing into these, kids...space can be dusty near the asteroid belt).

On Mars we could gorge ourselves on wings and down a few brewskis as we watched our home planet collapse into a giant, sucking, financial black hole.

Wings on Mars.

Make mine cajun...with a double order of bleau cheese on the side.

The view from Mars...