Desktop Dynamo

If you read my post about skewering alive...sorry...about stigmatizing bankers, I suppose it sounds like I've lost all compassion for these poor banker folks.

That's not so. Let me clear this up right now. Bear with me.

The nation's financial and political landscape is kind of like the Land of Oz. But instead of the Emerald City there's T.A.R.P. City, where the Wonderful Wizards of the Treasury, Fed and Oval Office rule the land. There's also a Munchkin Congress ...largely useless and always up to some scheme or other to dip into the wallets of the citizens of T.A.R.P. City.

Instead of Good Witches and Wicked Witches, there's bankers ...those from the Good Banks, and the those from the Wicked Banks.

We're not on Wall Street anymore, Toto...

Now, I know what you're thinking: Wait a second. Back up. ...Did Jimbo say "Good Banks?!?"

Yes, Jimbo did.

They are the banks that played by the rules. They didn't take TARP money because they ran their banks responsibly. And, just like many taxpayers, the Good Banks are spitting mad. They are being forced to pony up increased FDIC fees to pay for the sins of their unprincipled competition. The Good Banks don't like bailing out the bad boys any more than we taxpayers do. And unfairly, the reputations of the Good Banks are being tarnished by the Wicked Banks that put our economy in the Emerald Toilet.

Now... about those Wicked Banks. The ones the Fed is deathly afraid of "stigmatizing." The ones who took taxpayer money. I confess that for a very, very brief moment ...a couple of nanoseconds at best... I thought maybe I'd been too hard on them. Then I read that some of the Wicked Banks have returned TARP money because taking it put them at a "competitive disadvantage."

And my heart hardened.

If they didn't need the funds, they shouldn't have taken them. If they can afford to do without taxpayer money to regain their "competitive advantage" ... well then they didn't need to reach into our wallets in the first place.

Stigmatize them, says Jimbo the Merciless.

No mercy for wayward bankers...

Meanwhile, we're being told that financial institutions are taking "stress tests" to see where they stand. Here's the kicker...these institutions are testing themselves. Sure, it's under the direction of Federal regulators...but there's no outside party doing the testing.

It's kind of like asking Tony Soprano to investigate himself for racketeering violations.

Bada Bing, Bada Boom...we're clean!

OK..fair's fair, then. How about the Gubbermint letting us taxpayers "stress test" our family finances? We'll tell the Gubbermint what we can afford to pay in taxes this year. If we pass the test ...hey, we'll pay some taxes. If we don't pass, well...that's the breaks. Sorry. Our "stress tests" say we need money for mortgages and food. Be patient, Mr. Gubbermint. Maybe we can afford to pay taxes next year. Or the year after that ...if any of us still have jobs.