Desktop Dynamo

A few weeks back, I clucked, rolled my eyes and shook my head when I read that a school in Mesa, Arizona banned hugging. Well, not completely. Hugs of less than two seconds were permitted.

"Who's on stopwatch duty?" I wondered. "The principal? No...it must be the vice principal."

It flabbergasts me that folks who should be concentrating on giving kids an education are instead wasting time with this drivel.

"Well," I said to myself, "It will be hard to top this for the Bonehead Education Horror Story of the Year Award.

Then, today, I read about the Skittles suspension.

An eighth-grade honor student was stripped of his class vice presidency, suspended, and banned from an honors dinner for buying Skittles from another student.

Yes, Skittles.

Not crack. Not meth. Not a bottle of bourbon.

Skittles.

Can you see this poor kid trying to explain this during his interview for acceptance into Harvard?

"Nice grades, Mr. Sheridan. But it says you were suspended once for contraband."

"Well, I can explain..."

"Was it drugs?"

"No.."

"Booze? Perhaps a knife, nunchucks, pistol or bazooka?"

"It was Skittles."

"Skittles?"

"Yes sir, Skittles."

"Harvard cannot abide Skittles shenanigans, Sheridan, so skedaddle!"

I'm telling you...this country has gone nutz.