Desktop Dynamo

I was poking around in AOL, and I found a bunch of posts by people in a blind panic over global warming. I posted the following on AOL (yes, I know it was evil, but I've had a bad week and I just couldn't help myself):

"...In as little as 700 million years, the sun will grow so hot that our planet will become uninhabitable. Eventually, when the sun depletes its hydrogen and starts burning helium, it will greatly increase in size, ballooning outward like Oprah fresh off a diet and binging on Ding Dongs. The surface of our planet will be molten lava. Your house, my house, Al Gore's house....all covered by seas of molten lava.

...So, you see, one day solar energy will kill us all...even if we get 100 miles-per-gallon and save ALL the whales. There's an unpleasant truth for you, Al...

In the meantime, while we wait for the inevitable and terminal global warming, I'll be out back roasting a spotted owl for supper. (The wings taste like chicken.)