Desktop Dynamo

...I humbly apologize.

Seconds after I posted today's blog on the state of the economy, a member of Congress called and pointed out I had misspelled the same word over and over in my post: Gov'ment

I suggested Gub'mint. Nope. Gubbermint? He still wasn't happy.

"How 'bout spelling it: N-I-N-C-O-M-P-0-0-P-S?" I asked.

He'll get back to me...he's looking it up...

Are we on the edge of a great precipice?

For years we were told by the talking heads and gov'ment experts that the American consumer, empowered by the wealth generated through rising home prices, was the key pillar of the American economy.

They also told us inflation was not a concern; gasoline prices were inconvenient but not harmful to the economy; the housing market couldn't collapse; the Patriots were a sure thing to win the Super Bowl. (Ooops on the last one...wrong talking heads, but the point is the same: Sometimes things ain't what they appear to be, kids .)

I've been worried about inflation for a while. The gov'ment likes to talk about "core inflation" which excludes "volatile energy and food costs."

Uh-huh.

...and in an effort to keep my weight under a metric ton, I've resumed my after-work walks.

Often, friends and neighbors have kindly stopped to offer me a ride, thinking perhaps I needed a lift.

It happened so often last year that with the approach of this year's "walking season" I want to nip things in the bud.

So, folks, if you see me out hoofing miles from my home, I am not in need of a ride. I am just getting some exercise.

Now, because "crap happens" I also thought it best to give you some tips so you can tell whether or not I just might actually need a ride after all:

...apparently, a simple misspelling of Barack Obama's name confused voters and resulted in Barack getting a lot of mistaken votes in the Alabama primary, thus dooming Hillary Clinton.

In polls all across that state, his name should have been listed as: B OBAMA.

Unfortunately, the letter 'G' was used by mistake, and thousands of folks thought they were voting GO BAMA

Okay, yes, I shouldn't post before the coffee kicks in...

...just touching base to let you all that I'm most certainly not dead. When I go quiet like this...it generally means I'm up to something. Or working too damned hard. Or both.

This time...it's both.

Since posting the final piece of The Tears of Saint Lawrence, I decided I wanted to enter it in Glimmer Train's Family Matters contest.

So I read it again.

So I gutted it. Again.

It ended up about 1500 words shorter and (I think) tighter. If it at least gets a nod, I'll be thrilled.

In the meantime, I have a short story, very short story, and (of course) No Cognitive Defect all in various states of disarray. About normal for me.

Look for something to post shortly....

Singing all your favorites Oldies...

Tickets: $5.00
Tax: $75
Penalty: $100 (if driving an SUV)
Credit: -$5 (If driving a Prius)

"It's a lie. Yup. You Betcha!" says Dynamo

Plains Township, PA (UPI-Oh-Ki-Yay)

James O'Meara, a.k.a. "Dynamo" is looking svelte these days. For months, Dynamo attributed his sleeker physique to "eating less and exercising more," a radical and seldom used weight loss technique in the United States.

But then Dynamo's former trainer, Amos Behavin, testified under oath before the Mitchell Commission that he'd given Jimbo massive steroid injections on at least seventy-four occasions since last April.

Dynamo doesn't deny he was injected, but says the shots were not steroids.

"All the shots contained experimental vitamin WBC" says Dynamo.

WBC is concentrated chicken wing sauce suspended in sterile bleu cheese.

"Sure, I've lost a little weight," says Dynamo. "But I really don't look all that different than I did last winter."

Readers can compare the following photos and draw their own conclusions...

Kumari Fulbright, an Arizona beauty queen and law clerk, is in a wee bit of trouble for terrorizing her boyfriend. (A little gunplay, a little knifeplay, some biting and lots of duct tape).

The bigger question, from where I sit, is whether or not makeup is really necessary for some folks.

Geesh. I dunno.

Your call...